When it comes to blogging, there may have been a time in my earlier days that consistency was actually something that mattered to me. A flow that allowed me to compose in a space with full clarity. To be honest, in loosely looking over my existence, the closest I likely ever came to that was in ranting over Live/DeadJournal about emo shit during my teens.
Lucky for me, I graduated from whining about how much life sucks to how deep the well of life and humanity truly goes. We all grow up, realizing that the “emo shit” we believed was making our entire world fall apart was nothing compared to the harsh realities of “adulting.” Those who were creators from a young age also find that the topics/themes/styles that once permeated their ideas also find they’ve become more cultivated and varied. Oftentimes, without ever realizing it until they’ve reached a level of confidence high enough to warrant looking back.
Since my text roleplaying days as a teenager, I have been a creator of sorts. A weaver of characters and, sometimes, worlds. A self-proclaimed wordsmith in my own right. This blog, in an attempt to remain relevant and active, has gone through countless evolutions over the years. Each iteration of myself claiming a fresh start or a more focused flow of consistent posts – always maintaining the “memoir” theme, but never quite pinning down a content methodology.
Well…beyond using pictures of cute 2D anime girls with glasses, that is.
As a creator, I wanted readership to matter. However, I had no clue and just tried different things in order to stay interesting. In most iterations, I didn’t give a fuck who read it. In fewer instances, this blog was private. Due to a lack of content methodology and floundering in why I blogged in the first place, Meganekko Memoirs has a LOT of shit posts in its archive which, in the spirit of this being a memoir blog, are still accessible today.
Sometime within the last year or so, I claimed Meganekko Memoirs was evolving again. Aiming to have a distinct focus on my personal transgender narrative while sharing insight and advice that may help encourage those struggling with their own transition. This was probably most fixed content methodology I’ve ever had, but that level of flow and consistency I spoke of earlier in this post and the beginning of this year still had not been established.
This troubled me greatly.
However, this post marks the first time in forever (if ever) that I’ve ever blogged three days in a row. What changed are the lenses I have been viewing my world through. Being knee-deep in Sales/Marketing drastically shifted my beliefs of having a stronger work ethic and the need to have clearer goals. I learned the hard lesson that I cannot blame outside factors for my own shortcomings. At the end of the day, I only have myself to blame for my lack of results.
I always believed I had been doing enough. However, the lack of consistency spoke for itself. So, upon exiting the sales world, I took an active approach and thought differently.
Rather than using the night hours to attempt to sum up the strength to compose as I once did, I now am capitalizing on the massive span of clarity I have always exhibited first thing in the morning. My best ideas have always come in my morning showers, but I was always too busy getting ready for work or exercising to ever act on those ideas. When I worked in the city, my best creative insights always was on the morning train. It just made sense to also offer up my morning energy to waking up earlier and taking an hour or so to make this blog relevant to my, and hopefully someone else’s existence.
I love the beauty and freedom found in weaving words and meaning together to enthrall a reader. Finally, I’m taking my goal to write more by the horns.
“Wearing glasses. Hiding secrets. Bearing truths.”
That was my tagline for a number of years. Though now, reaching this level of clarity of my own self in tandem with this blog, has guided me to a more fitting evolution.
“A [trans]formed existence through fresh lenses”
You’re welcome to join me.