So one of my ears has been clogged for the past few weeks very deep and it’s gotten so bad that the pressure is hitting a nerve, making my right eye twitch. I never get bedridden sick, but I get these small, annoying ailments that are either painful or potentially fatal if left alone. So yeah, UGH.

It’s been a while since I last recorded my day here. Feminine elements seem to be on the rise again as I have already decided to cut my hair once my current job ends. I can’t stand how it curls up after a wash. Not to mention it’s hella hard to put on a wig with so much hair. I’m just ditching it since I don’t have the money to maintain the chemicals to keep relaxed, straight hair healthy.

I’ve been all right, and gently worried about my current gig ending. Taking every day in stride can get stressful, but it’s tons less stressful than being tormented by love and shit. So I’m fine with this much, but when people ask how I am, I know I’m not really well, but it could be worse. So I say that I am, because having to deal with a potential “why?” is just not something I feel like reliving/retelling.

I’m looking forward to crossdressing at my anime con just for fun. I’ll probably dress like a guy going and coming, and then play around with girl stuff during the con. My mom has yet to teach me because of constant setbacks with filing taxes. This weekend I’m busy too. So hopefully next weekend I’ll pick up tips. I know I want to do my eyeliner in a way that makes my eyes looker larger, since that’s by far more feminine. Plus, I need to make sure whatever wig I get has bangs to de-emphasize my eyebrows. Long hair to cover my ears and round out my face. And just now thought of getting black and blue nail polish. Haha, I’m going to look so ugly, but it’s not like I’m having any luck with how I am.

Oh I should mention that I met some cool anime girls at this documentary thing I went to the week before last. I wound up hanging out with a bunch of them after we had spent the whole day with a number of other anime fans talking and being evaluated on whether we’d be in their documentary or not. It was a great time, and though I sometimes felt left out, just the fact that I was the only guy among 7-8 females just always makes me happy. That’s been the norm for me all my life anyway. One of them said that if she wasn’t taken, she’d be all over me. Unfortunately for her, I didn’t really find her attractive physically, but obviously a great, responsible person. I think the girl artist I’m trying to get involved with my circle likes me though. Sadly, I’m not into her like that either. There were three cute girls & one lolita that definitely looked like a guy in the face area. All of them made showed zero interest in me. Go figure.

Can’t think of anything else, and I just passed out for ten minutes…


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