Life has been strangely unproductive and meh during weekdays. Too tired to do anything when I get home and it’s near impossible to focus on anything other than work-work while at work. Received a tip from my boss today that my contract is pretty much up. She applied for a 30-day extension though, but that is yet to be approved. E-mailed the agent that got me the interview in the first place and she says that she’s “confident” I’ll be there a while yet. Told her flat-out I don’t want to caught off-guard. Hope she got the hint.

Creatively, it’s been rough as well. I realized how many ideas I’ve let slip away just because I want to finish a single one. Ehh try not to dwell and just work as much as I can.

Gender-wise, it’s been that dormant period again where I don’t care much about being male and desires to be treated and seen as a female aren’t as strong. And then today I meet with that financial rep guy and I’m blushing like an idiot. The guy looked somewhere between late 30s/early 40s, but for some stupid reason I had a reaction to him. Aside from that, our meeting was so lightspeed because I didn’t want to wait until 8PM to catch my train rather than 7PM, that I was trying hard to answer as simply as possible. But yeah, I was all upset afterwards when I rushed out as I forgot to thank him for his time & meeting with me. Blushing with embarrassment, I texted him when I had gotten on my train, knowing full well that most males wouldn’t do such a thing. This is still very weird to me, but it’s always a surprise when it happens – I start thinking about how bad I probably looked, how stupid I may have sounded, and just most things that females think about when they are trying to make an impression.


I found a cool link called “The Gender Genie” that takes the text from writing you’ve done and determines if your style is male or female. After testing four Renai entries, they are apparently either overwhelmingly female or male with a score not too distant from female. Interesting, so I’ll probably mess around with it more in the future.

Wrote this early tonight because I still haven’t gotten the fucking hint that I need more sleep. And, of course, it’s been catching up with me and especially killed me at work today. I’m off.


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