Very exhausted and had a complete bitch fit when I got home. Exhausted because I’m not getting enough sleep at night while pulling 11-14 hr. days while braving cold and cigarette smoke. Had a bitch fit just because. Got home, saw an update on FB that had nothing to do with the matters of my heart (but still by “her”), and just said “fuck it I’m watching anime and not dealing with anyone.”
Ugh…just passed out for a minute. Need to make this quick.
Had a talk with my “genderless” online friend and found out new things about him. Naturally, he found out many things of me, including this blog which they have access to now. Won’t change anything anyway. Still gonna write here just the same.
Forget whether it was yesterday or Monday, but for the first time, I was staring at a woman’s facial features to determine if she were a female. Something about her face seemed off, and I’ve been observing how women appear. She was reading a magazine before she finally caught me starting at him. The ride was almost over, so I let her be, but there may be hope for me “passing” after all.
Lastly, I did a bit more research on makeup tips tonight and found a wig that I absolutely adore. Makeup continues to elude me as it’s so complex and can be done so many different ways depending on skin tone, product line, and desired look. However, it’s either I learn for myself, or I continue to be frustrated that no one can help me look more like a girl. With that wig, some concealer over my eyebrows (since plucking would look conspicuous), some eyeliner, foundation, blush, and lip gloss, I might be in business. Still lots to work on.
Ugh…just woke up after passing out for like 15 mins. I’m going to bed before it happens again.