The Very Best

That is what you are.
Your scent puts me in a daze.
Your smile brightens my day.
My arms around you felt so right.

I wanted to touch your hair more.
Your forehead beckoned my lips.
Your lips petite, shimmering – open.
Today was the very best.

Your skin I did not touch.
Your breath I could not feel.
Your heart may not have raced.
Still, the very best

Because of you
Being who I pursue.
Yes, it’s true. I may
Not be the very best for you.


Dear self,

Just had to go and open your big mouth again. Couldn’t just leave things as they were, could you? Expecting too damn much again when you don’t deserve it.

She isn’t yours. Stop fucking making her feel horrible for absolutely nothing! Protect what you have with her. Keep doing this retarded shit and she may not want to deal with you anymore because your not thinking before you say how you feel.

Don’t make her cry. Don’t make her feel like she’s done something wrong. Just fucking accept what she gives you because you could be without anything just like with Chels – her fucking hating your guts.

I know that scares the shit out of you. I also know you love her (Sawako). You confirmed that today. You didn’t realize you didn’t want to let her go until you let her go. But right now, please…for your own sake and for her – the one you love…stop expecting her to feel/react the same as you. She doesn’t have to. She’s wonderful just as she is. Your friend.

Please. I know you’re sorry. I hope she contacts you very soon so you can be at ease again.

Signed,
– Renai

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