#120: Didn’t you know? Love is one huge mindfuck.

Had yet another upbeat, wonderful chat with “Sawako” earlier today, but then I watched NyanKoi and that all went downhill real fast. Watching characters who have the opposite gender openly like them and yet they be so oblivious to it really boils me. Seriously. I just want to smack them in the face, tell them to choose one, go fuck, and be done with it. I admit it has entertainment value, but when you’re struggling to be candid with someone who is struggling with their own relationship and you know without a shadow of a doubt that you can love them better than anyone, it’s gets kind of shitty.

The ONLY anime that has ever had characters who didn’t beat around the bush and broke the mold of romantic expectations that permeate anime culture is School Days. That anime really mindfucked most people who watched it all the way through and partook in the “Nice Boat” meme. I was one of those people, but in all honesty, even though Matoko Itou is the biggest dick ever to be created in an anime, at least he just fucked them and was done with it. Thing is, he fucked everyone, and then got fucked himself. With a knife. Repeatedly.

Sorry if I spoiled it, but it’s never going to be dubbed anyway so fuck you anifag.

But anyway, my mood went completely sour as soon as I logged on to speak to a friend who really has nothing to talk about. She asked if I was available, I made myself available, and then I just sat there going about my online business while she talked about transferring files and her watch being broken. Nothing against her or anything. She’s a good person. I just wasn’t feeling like entertaining such numbing conversation. On top of me wanting to play some games and eventually getting back to my “Sawako” later on, I just couldn’t take it anymore.

I still can’t take it. That’s why I’m here, writing about this shit. Ugh! I want her to break it off with this guy already! But I love her, so I would never say that to her. I want her to be happy, and yet she is being slowly torn apart every time they talk about the future. My future with her is something I’m more than willing to create, no matter where she goes. No matter where I am living. I’m sick of being told I’m a “wonderful friend” every time I spew my feelings at her. Just see that I can love you way better than he can, end that relationship, I’ll comfort you through it, and then I’ll turn it around for you.

For us. I promise you this. And you’re not even a meganekko. I just flat out love you…but I love that I could become your closest friend in the end much much more.

I log into Skype and go to you once more…

Advertisements

Share your thoughts below!

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s