#108: Asking For More

Oh darling blog. How I neglect you so tenderly. I really don’t like forcing myself to write in here, as this is meant to serve a purpose to my future self. And when my future self has a lover, then I can laugh at my pitiful past self and reflect upon my foolish ways.

People should be glad I have such a wonky sense of humor. Well..people that I give a damn about. No one else would give two shits about me having such issues with not knowing how to deal with a girl who doesn’t know how to express her feelings clearly. So instead, I’m making jokes about how heartbroken I am when I could really care less. I got a great friend out of the deal, and that isn’t something I regret at all.

After hanging out with my other girl friend the night before, I realized that all I do is hang out with people that are either taken, about to be taken, or should be taken but aren’t for whatever reason and have no real attraction to me for that same reason of whatever. With that girl friend, I accompanied her to Radio Shack to spend about 45 minutes with her browsing and bullshitting until she could have a few moments with her boyfriend who works there.

Can someone please tell me how I rank on the pathetic-o-meter? I think mine is broken.

My meganekko friend tells me that I should have asked “blue-eyed beauty” out because of the signs of hinting that was drawn from my jumbled retelling of how we spent our time together last Saturday. Not going to go into the details of that story, but all I know is that she said she just wanted to be friends. When she said that, I clearly conveyed to her that if her feelings do change, I won’t have a clue. So now we’re both back to this ridiculous play on relationships that clearly spells “couple” to everyone else, but is just a very, very sad joke. On me.

If you knew someone whom you literally had 95% things in common with, had fun with every weekend, and was beautiful in your eyes, would you ask for more in someone? New best friend or not, really starting to think I’m just crazy stupid.

Tired. Sleep.

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