See, I’m the kind of person who has grown up for most of their life believing that I would have a family that would never break apart. A family that would go on trips together. A family that would love each other. A family that people could look at and say, “I wanna have a family like that!” the way I have done with other families I have seen over the course of my existence. Though in the process of preparing myself for that fateful day, whenever and if it ever comes, I have not been able to properly involve myself with my extended family for various reasons that I won’t divulge.
It’s just the way it is. And now I’m being gently badgered by both parents for both sides of the family to spend more time with family. It’s not that I don’t want to. I just don’t know how to enjoy myself with anyone who isn’t already involved in my online world.
So I decided to visit some extended family after work and exercise. And what happens? I have a wonderful time talking about why I was giddy for my lover the last time I saw them and why now I’m comfortably single but hopeful for another…among many other things of course.
The point is that a part of myself has been assuaged (ooo big word!). I wasn’t trying to enjoy myself. I just did, and just talking with them helped me realize how sad it would be if I didn’t have any family other than my friends. Why? Because even my friends have their own family that they enjoy being with. So, I will make it my business to ensure that my sister’s child knows who I am or I’ll regret it forever.