I feel like I’ve had it up to here with romantic relationships. They have become so troublesome and so difficult to maintain, especially with my own aspirations and lifestyle habits. I have made so many choices in my life that have led me up to where I am now. And now, I’m gradually turning apathetic towards all those who might, or do, appreciate me now.
I am particularly sick of a particular male who no longer sees me the same as they did before, which is probably because they decided to pick themselves up an online relationship out of the blue with someone who can be as witty and passionate with poetic romance as he can. Seriously…an online relationship? Saying ‘I love you’ after a month? Bah! I used to give that guy a lot more credit. Now he’s just pointing out how I’ve changed, when he’s the one who has gone screwy in the head because he’s totally infatuated. He doesn’t even know how to talk to me anymore and just lets conversations drop. I don’t even bother thinking about him anymore.
And me…? I’m busy falling in love with sixteen year old girls that I take for being twenty like me. Online girls no less, and totally not on purpose. Fortunately, I have become so sharp after denouncing online relationships that I quickly come to my senses and draw the friendship line thickly on the ground.
It’s not that I think life has become more difficult now that I have grown up. I think it’s because I just still hurt so much that I just don’t want to put in the effort for anyone who isn’t willing to do the same for me. Ironically, there is someone online who is trying very hard to catch me. The catch is that none of us know who is worth it or not. The upside is that I realized my original weakness: I started searching for potential like I used to.
Just everyone leave me alone for a while. I’m just not ready, and I don’t know if I ever will be…