Double-Mindedness is a Bitch

This is long overdue…

I’m fucking sick of this bullshit. You think it’s perfectly alright for you to expect something of me when I naturally don’t ever feel like sharing it with you just because you fuckin’ want to know, but the moment I ask a simple question out of pure curiosity, you ask “why?” And then, I tell you why in a way that puts you on the spot as someone who is clearly being hypocritical by even asking when I know that you get upset when I’m generally roundabout and unspecific with my details. And what do you do? You say “bye” and sign off.

Well do whatever the fuck you like. I have nothing to apologize for, as you had already made it quite clear you were hardly interested in having a conversation with me in the first place. I was only trying to see what you were up to so we could talk about what you were doing, but if you’re going to do this type of shit, then fuck it. Go whine or mope or whatever you were doing before you messaged me. I know I’m no one special and I do what I can to not gripe or seem overly self-important for the sake of having a nice conversation, but when I’m feeling like crap, expressions get lost over IM and things are usually, if not often times, misconstrued in some fashion. I wasn’t trying to be mean – though I did not like the fact that you asked “why?” when I purposefully have made an effort to be more open with you.

What’s fuckin’ retarded about all of this is that I’m so damn empathetic all the time. The fact that you just wrote me off, like I was trying to be some sort of prick by asking you a simple question, hurt me a lot. It ALWAYS fuckin’ hurts because it’s you. It’s always been something simple when it came to us. Always some insignificant shit that breaks us apart for a time – maybe this time it will be forever. And then I either leave it to you or I attempt to remedy it so neither of us has to suffer emotional trauma. Well, this is another one of those times I’m leaving it. This will cause issues in other venues, but whatever. I can’t deal with this petty shit that shouldn’t even be.

Just great that I have a test tomorrow. I really do hate when this happens, but I won’t be played for a fool and let someone get away with doing the exact thing to me that upsets them.

I just had to get this out. I’ll do this again if I have to, since I really could care less about keeping this place maintained for any other reason. Right now though, I just want to fuckin’ break someone…

Funny how breaking someone always includes the desire to just cry in someone’s arms…No one around now.

// ::Meganekko-Tune Now Playing [ Snow Patrol – “Run” ]:: \\

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