For the first time in a while, I was really into my summer job. Taking care of business, running around doing things for my boss, etc., etc. Even got complimented and offered a higher range of responsibility by the president, which I obviously accepted. I even decided to work a little overtime because I was so in the zone. I even had a nice lunch with my megane-ko friend…whom I recently told about this place (gasp!). Make that two people who know who I really am. Anyway, today was great…until I fuckin’ got distracted.
As soon as I got off work, my mind went blank. All motivation to do anything flew out the window. My sweetheart has vanished. So, you know what I say to that? FUCK IT! I’ll just be fuckin’ single for the rest of my damn life. This happens every damn time I let my guard down, tell them like a little more of half of who I am (which is actually a lot), and tell them I like them. I finally find a nice, hard-working, cutely hyperactive woman who likes me despite me being this effeminate mess of lover, bitch, and moan – she liked it when I moaned for her – and what happens? POOF! Gone! She’ll probably be back or some crap happened on her end, but not even a fuckin’ phone call? What the fuck?! ‘I won’t disappear on you,’ she said. Guess what, love? You fuckin’ did. ‘I’ll keep waiting for you,’ I said. I’m waiting…and waiting…In the past, I’ve even received an e-mail or IM or something from her best friend who knows of me. 10 days pass. Nothing. Zip. So, fuck waiting anymore. Chances are, the girl that notably vanished from my life was the one I was meant for anyway. Thanks to Angel Sanctuary, I’ve been wanting her back…but that’s impossible.
I really am a bitch aren’t I? I’ll just work my ass off like I used to and not worry about caring about anyone but my two best friends. Girls will come up to me, trying to find out if I’m who they think I am, but since they’ll never get close to me anyway because of my get-the-fuck-away-from-me aura, they won’t ever find out. I’ve been told many times that I’m very hard to read. Damn right I am! I’m not even trying to be confusing. I just am. Emotionally spontaneous. Misunderstood.
The moment you get close to my heart, is the moment you understand how clingy I really can be. Other than that, you’ll only see what you get, which is jack-shit. Maybe I should go for bad girls…oh wait. I already am one. We’d probably kill each other. I’ll just stick with money-making masochism. At least that can’t hurt me.
// ::Meganekko-Tune Now Playing [ Coldplay – Parachutes – “We Never Change” ]:: \\