Ren’Ai :: With the Heart of a Blogger

Meganeko 18I just want to say…I really love this picture, especially for this sort of entry.

I knew from the moment I started this blog, I wanted to be bolder and more unwaveringly honest than most people who blogged. If you can’t see that from my first few entries, then I guess I really haven’t said anything that you haven’t heard before from some other mild-mannered individual with half a brain. Anyway, it’s been four months and some time since then, and I really have yet to find a clear-cut direction in which to take this blog. I thought I had, but I now have doubts. The first three entries that I linked to were of me putting myself out there, from a sexual standpoint, juxtaposed with how I view myself as the individual that I am. I was heavily influenced by a sexuality course I was taking throughout the semester, which triggered a realization of these feelings and views that I just HAD to get out. So I figured, why not start a blog and tell a story that uptight America will never be able to take the stick out of its ass to be real about. That was my purpose for this blog…along with the niche of my megane-ko fetish/appreciation.

I love megane-ko (duh…), but have I been writing about topics that support why I love megane-ko? I think I have, but not very often. I still consider myself erratic in what I post about, while tacking on an image of a girl with glasses to better visually represent me as an individual, since I don’t dare put my picture on the net. Is the fact that I have wavered from my original content in a matter of 3-4 months a positive factor of me simply sharing a bit more of who I am, or horribly misled, in that my original desire for starting this blog has just not been that overbearing on me lately…so I compensate?

Compensation sucks, but it’s what I have been doing, for the most part. Blogging about other things in my life that interest me is fine, but it becomes an irksome issue for me when I see myself becoming the kind of blog that I detest. You know, the ones that blog just to say they are a blogger, but don’t really have a clue why they blog. And then you have those who have been sucked into becoming fuckin’ drones because society compels them to. I can’t tell you how many times I have seen something along the lines of the following statement:

“Blogging is going to replace the news media eventually, so I’d better hop on the bandwagon like the other 24 mil (according to Technorati’s recent approx. count, of course) bloggers in the world, hurhur.”

:: rolls eyes ::

Shut the fuck up and don’t bother starting a blog if that’s the sort of small-minded, twisted elitist manner of thought you’re going to have towards blogging! As a blogger (I feel I can call myself that now), those people are the kind I fuckin’ hate fervently. Those people need to stop relying on social standards, which can easily be ruled as the ultimate form of peer pressure, to make their decisions for them and actually grow a sense of fucking IDENTITY!

However…I digress.

A new year is upon all of us, no matter where we are in the world. So,I believe it’s time that I really sort out where the hell I’m going with this because I don’t think that many people find what I have to say worth reading [which is their choice]. Notice I didn’t say they don’t like what I have to say. I don’t live in an idealistic world, so I know my words won’t be accepted by all. I’m not blogging for anyone’s amusement (maybe my own, but that’s just because I can be fucked up once in a while), but I sincerely am blogging to vehemently prod conceptually adept persons who share in the same deep, meaningful questions of sexuality, imperfection, & free-thinking lifestyles as I do. Those who can appreciate my interest in pretty/cute girls/guys with glasses (megane-ko) and anime are also who I wish to challenge intellectually. Most of all, I want to put my own voice on the line to talk about what no one else is willing to do: mesh those multiple subjects together to create a blog that people can say “wow, that was a good read,” but know without a doubt that I’m not going to hold back on the vulgarities or my brusque attitude that some aren’t bold enough to talk about in the open.

If I can at least do that…then maybe becoming widely known as a megane-ko blogger can be put on the backburner. That is agreeably worth a year or two of properly grounding my blogging content to a point where I can blog and be above content with how and what I blog about.

P.S. Thanks to Daniel’s previous comment and Luke‘s recent blog entry that invoked this entry. More on this in a later entry. I really need a shower…

// ::Meganekko-Tune Now Playing [ – ] :: \\

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