RenAi Gives Thanks

Sensei - from W-WishSo after stuffing myself silly on this Thansgiving Day, I park my ass in front of this computer screen in the comfort of my personal space – otherwise known as the “storage room” of the house – with the heat set to 4 and my snuggly heating blanket warming my feet. I suppose this could be called bliss, but then I would be assumed to be this obese slob who posts heavily photoshopped images of themselves, pretending to be this gorgeous supermodel blogger type, scrambling to get net-famous simply for being fuck-worthy…oh wait, we have enough of those already. Good thing I’m thankful for being somewhat standoffish in my reasoning behind blogging ^ ~

This day isn’t much different from other days, other than actually having a full-course meal one day out of the year. I’m surprised I haven’t fallen asleep yet. I did too much napping than I wanted to yesterday; probably worn out from spending time with my adorable megane-ko friend that I can only see when I’m back in my neighborhood. Or maybe it was being unable to escape the stress of being such a queer human being in the midst of an abnormal family setting. I’m not family oriented in the slightest. In any case, I needed sleep, and willingly succumbed to fatigue…and damn enjoyed it.

Believe it or not, I’m a very thankful person and would rather not be indebted to anyone. I can also be a bit selfish in that if I want something, I will go out of my way to make sure I have it. For example, I’m thankful that I was able to have something of a reclusive Thanksgiving and not surrounded by a bunch of relatives I only see one day out of the year. I’m thankful that the people I did spend my Thanksgiving with were people I actually can say I love and have played a significant part in keeping me aware of the kind of lower middle-class lifestyle I come from. I’m thankful that I had $120 to slap into my mother’s hand from my campus job to help with hers and my own cell phone bills…which, might I add, she is a month and a half behind on paying. I’m thankful that I have a mother, who is in an obsence amount of debt, that could prepare that one full-course meal out of the year this Thanksgiving when there are thousands who will not.

I come off as controversial and loud-mouthed a lot of the time, and that’s because that is my voice as someone who is trying to work themselves up in the blogosphere. No one will hear my voice or give a shit about what I have to say if I don’t speak loudly and carry a big stick. Attention whore? Damn right! However, I’m not some ungrateful bitch either who can’t recognize the many provisions that I have, or exchange writing quality, honest entries for a wider fan base. Maybe my rambunctious, brusque persona will entice someone into becoming a better person, or at the very least, give someone a well-deserved smack in the face. Thing is, I’m lightyears away from gaining an impressionable status on anyone, especially through my amateur writing style.

If anything, I should be thankful that I can at least start somewhere.

Obviously, I am.

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